Fragile Dreams and Diffinitive Nature of M.Ann: Month 19

A lot has happened the last month. I went to see my parents- why no pictures? Good question!! Well, actually there are some cute pictures on my phone but they won't be emailed! Soooo, until I can figure the cell pictures out... Figured it out!! Xander loved grandpa and grandma's big tub...

This little Scorpion was on the wall next to the stairs. It was the size of my pinky nail...

I've been thinking a lot about why we are here in AZ and I feel that I need to explain from the beginning and in full detail. My guess is that I haven't written it down and that Xander will need to read it some day. So here goes... On August 4 Scott received a call stating that his grandpa was not doing well and that he had weeks to live. Scott was devastated, but what could we do? On Sunday August 5 we went to church early as Scott was the branch clerk and needed to be to church to complete his tasks. Xander and I went into the chapel to wait and to get settled. Scott came in about 10 minutes before Sacrament started and sat down heavily. I looked over and saw the tears building in his eyes, "I can't control my emotions," he stated and I placed my arm around him. "Go call your mom," were the first words out of my mouth. I pushed him to go and finally he did. As he got up to go I thought about what he was going through. My poor husband was morning not just his grandpa but the only strong male presence in his life. The thought that came into my mind was, "He needs to go to his grandpa and he needs to go now." When Scott came back I could see the tracks of the tears on his cheeks. I knew that he would go. "I need to talk to you..." he stated. "Me too. After Sacrament." We partook and then Xander I left as he was ready for a nap and started his crying. Scott soon followed and we ducked into a room to talk. I told him of the thoughts that come to me as soon as he left. He was surprised and stated that he felt that he should go home and call his mom. I explained that he just needed to leave. He called his mom and a debate began. She wanted to call her mom. Scott wanted to see what would happen. I just wanted us to act. Scott decided he needed to go home and I decided Xander and I would stay at church. When I got home Scott had a train ticket that would leave on Wednesday. He had to talk to work first. Monday work told him he could have up to 45 days leave of absence. We both thought that would be more than enough... I dropped Scott off at the bus station at 1:00pm so that he could take the bus to Kansas where he would catch the train. The first month was the toughest and we videoed over the phone and skyped as much as possible. In that time Xander quit pulling himself up and stopped the little noises he was making. His progress stopped ad he digressed. He would get so excited when he heard his daddy's ring tone. Then he would grab the phone and army crawl off so that I couldn't get the phone back. Scott and I always discussed if this was benefiting our family. It was such a struggle, but we knew that this was what we needed to do. I had the home daycare and had Xander started on headstart and physical therapy. There was so much to take into account. Xander and I flew out in September (9) to see Scott. It was a quick visit and then we were back home. In October Scott came out to see us and we discussed again what was the best thing for our little family. We decided that I would pack and travel out to AZ so that we could be a family again. We decided that I would move out in December as the house was paid through and I had to give my moms enough time to find someone else to watch their little ones. I packed the house and gave away/sold as much of our stuff as possible and what couldn't fit in the truck and towed car got stored. Xander and crossed the country with a dog in the back seat. Three days later we pulled into the house. We've been here ever since. I have been able to travel to Tucson and see my parents and then to Salt Lake to see my sisters and brother. Xander got to play with his cousins... It's been quite an adventure. Xander is progressing again he'll be walking in no time. He jabbers and shakes his head no while saying nonono... to be pulled up by his dad he will grab daddy's arm and put it around his waist and then lift his little hands up towards daddy. He loves toes- uggggg!! If you aren't careful he'll suck your toe. Scott and myself have both been shocked out of projects as Xander put his little mouth over the big toe and bite. Little monster!! He does the same thing to his daddy's nose. He's so crazy!! We think he might be kissing his daddy. He doesn't kiss mommy that way, though.

I can't deal with it but Scott just laughs which makes Xander laugh

Then the dog always gets involved!!

He's into everything!!

We never know what he's going to get into- He played under a crate for a good 1/2 hour... At night he wanders until it's time to go to bed- he's so busy. He loves his cars and makes growly noises as he drives them around. He loves it when I drive those little cars over his tummy and head, laughing like crazy...

And can someone please tell me why babies sleep like this when they have the whole bed??!

He loved playing with Cali- they had soooo much fun together...

Bath time was interesting. Cali pulled herself up and so Xander thought he should be able to as well. But they have soft water so he slipped in the tub and when I went to grab him and he slipped out of my hand and fell back into the water. He hasn't stood up in the tub since then and I got soaking wet as he clung to me and I clung to him. Scary moment- let's never repeat that one... Cali wasn't sure she wanted to share her highchair with her cousin...